Teenagers are not just getting caught throwing a few punches when there is a disagreement; they now take their argument viral. Facing any type of opposition used to result in just a head on face off, and maybe a few punches until broken up. But today, all who have access to social media now have the power of cyber bullying at their hands.
As a parent when trying to discourage children from engaging in fighting we need to apply that same concept to cyber bullying. Cyber bullying has prompted many states to enact laws that directly deal with violators and laws that hold educational institutions accountable of adopting policy that enforces these laws. By 2008, fourteen states enacted such laws to stop cyber bullying and protect the victims (USA Today, 2008).
The problem with cyber bullying is that it never goes away. Just as I talk to teenagers about their behavior on social media and how it could affect their holding or getting a job, cyber bullying creates an electronic trail as well. This affects those who are doing the bullying as well as those being bullied. The trail can go on and on while online. For the victim, sometimes this can be fatal causing some to take their own life base on the threats and bullying from others.
Working for my organization, I regularly screen new hires social media sites prior to interviewing. Not only do I look at how they conduct themselves online, but are they making threats toward others. This is typically not the person that you want in your organization. While no others consider this an issue, the fact that I have access to it and knowledge of questionable behavior has caused me to stand my ground on a few occasions against other panel members’ choices to hire.
Some suggestions for dealing with opposition online and dealing with cyber bullying-
Teach children to:
Stay in groups – If being bullied online, then stay in groups when in the public. The threat is imminent.
Standing up for yourself and others – Be directly and respectful when standing up to bullies. It is important to show them that no matter how their behavior is, you getting down on their level is not the right thing to do. If you have to step in for others who appear too weak to defend themselves, maintain the same composure,
Always try to avoid fighting – Refer to the previous suggestion. Trying to match someone physically is dangerous. Today assault laws are more stringent and even if you are the more physically dominant, your actions can bring legal repercussions against you later. Aggression or using physical force will most likely make the situation more dangerous.
Report any incidents – Regardless if it began as an online cyber bullying or in person let adults know what is going on. This includes parents, teachers, and counselors and law enforcement. Any aggression online should be reported through the social media service provider as well so if they have policies in place that can act in an appropriate manner to keep you stay safe and solve the problem.
Parents should:
Be and stay informed – Learn about your school’s policy toward bullying. How do staff members respond to these situations? Are there school resources online and at the school office to assist you in protecting your children? How can families be involved in solutions? The threat is real; do not dismiss it just because it is “only online”.
Work together/Reach out - Get involved to better understand bullying and cyber bullying. Understand the signs. They are there in front of your face. I always say “knowing your children’s friends is know your children”, use this tool to know what is going on in their lives. Especially on social media sites today children like to vent when things are just not going right for them, read between the lines, their conversation with their friends, and any escalation in their online posts. My children were not allowed to have a social media profile unless I was their friend on it. I am also friends with their friends that I know real well. Together, this allow me to assess they state online and intervene before it may be too late. If this is a big problem, maybe those who deal with it best need to become involved with other that are troubled in dealing with cyber bullying, work together with your school, the teachers, administration, and other parents to make positive changes.
Always be vigilant of the signs – Stay alert of potential violent or dangerous circumstances that may escalate to more serious situations. Call law enforcement officials for any bullying situation. Some adults are hesitant to take this step, but it can be necessary for preventing violence and breaking the cycle of bullying. Additionally, if the bullying is only in person, law enforcement will usually advise that once charges are filed, any other aggressive acts, even cyber bullying can warrant an arrest. Just recently I had one of my son’s friends at our house and he was constantly stalked by another young man that just turned 18. Normally he would do the right thing and avoid the conflict or fighting, but he would never put into motion other actions that could protect him from future attacks. I recently encouraged him to file charges for a physically aggressive act against him. While we were at the magistrates office, they drafted a warrant against the attacker and the warning in the warrant included any non verbal attacks against him like texting, social media posts, or gestures.
So if you encounter opposition online, you have choices – defend yourself or your position, back down, or try to reach a compromise and avoid escalating to the level of attacking others online.
You and your children can control the outcome!
You and your children can control the outcome!
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